Right, you asked for it….so here it is.

Occasional postings of Reactions, Reviews, Rhetoric and, er…Recipes !

What these posts lack in regularity, they make up for in bile
I have gorged myself on raw audio and swiftly rammed my fingers down my throat for this months episode of Binge & Purge…

THE OFF-KEY HAT_EMERGENCY CALLING (DISSIDENT)

Hit and miss is a phrase often bandied about with regards to this label
And I’d agree, on the whole…but I can’t help but admire such a wilful disregard for convention & business sense (a prolific & random schedule of often one-sided and prohibitively expensive 12′s). It’s the kind of cavalier attitude which used to fuel the most interesting and innovative record labels. Anyway, occasionally they drop a release which makes you glad to be alive. ‘Emergency’ is just that, a simple, sub 100 bpm vocal cut, which is drenched in the sleazy, electronic club juice which, more than anything typifies Dissidents approach. A beautiful bass hook, shiny 80′s synth chords and a great song. Awesome stuff, which I urge you to seek out (there’s only 200 of ‘em) or at least add to your wants list in the event they do some CD label comps.

SOME OLD FUCKING EP ON I CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO LOOK WHICH LABEL

This is the musical equivalent of a mumbled apology after premature ejaculation.

HECTOR & BRYANT_TENSION (PHONICA)

Yes kids, your favourite record store is launching a label, to release music, and not neccesarily by the counter staff (like this one)
So, aside from flapping my gums about this release, I just need to mention – for those of you not cursed with 200 digital promo’s a day – that lots of promo companies now include press shots of the artist. Now the term ‘faceless dance music’ was coined by rags like the NME to lament the lack of personalities and therefore interesting editorial back when Dance music massacred Indie in the mid-nineties.
Faceless was good, faceless made sense. Not any more, seems that in this visually overloaded & celebrity worshipping age everyone wants to see the guy behind the machines.

So, here we get a couple of mug shots of Hector (but not Bryant) suggesting we’ve twisted the wrong dial on the time machine and ended up in Phil Oakey’s bathroom and then staring at a poster on the barber shop wall of handsome continental types for the folically aspirational to ponder, but anyway…onto the music. This is the musical equivalent of a massive loft painted completely white, with a solitary red chair parked in the middle. Style 7 Content 1
I was hoping Appleblim’s mate Al tourette might live up to his name & punctuate the wobbling dubstep fracture clinic with some random swearing….Boom, bub bub, wahyaoooow ‘Bell End’ shuffle shuffle, clank BOOOM ‘Piss Flaps’ etc. Sadly not.

BERGHAIN03_TONY LIONNI & RADIOSLAVE (OSTGUT TON)

Label arm of the superbly decadent and wonderful club in Berlin and it’s equally infamous upstairs Panorama Bar.
Residents Ben Klock, Prosumer et al have all supplied super effective tracks in this series, and here we get the ever-impresseive Tony Lionni (check his cut on the latest Freerange ‘Colour Series’) & Radioslave er, bringing up the rear.
Uncomplicated and glorious club music which is tailor-made for that 10am Sunday dancefloor. Tony’s ‘Found A Place’ is in my top five records of the year, and it’s only February. It’s a piano tune, with a clipped Tweet vocal hook and is worth infinitely more than the avalanche of tedious laptop Techno claptrap masquerading as viable club music these days. Flip over for the unstoppable and frankly too talented Matt Edwards contribution, he pile drives a bare arsed one-foot skank of a cut into 12 minutes of Van Oswald style Techno dubbery. Out-fucking-standing.

ZOMBIE DISCO SQUAD_THE CURSED (MADE TO PLAY DIGITAL)

It would be easy to write these guys off as just another duo of New Era cap wearing Blog-house fuckwits, were it not for their total avoidance of 58 kbps Fidget flatulence in favour of a far more raw, cocks-out & brazen approach to their music making. This is a joyous, heavy and stripped down conga bashing session, with some 2 Live Crew bass booms and wildlife yelps. It’s the very definition of Safari-House, which is being, er…redefined on a weekly basis at the moment. Elsewhere ‘Twang’ does much the same, albeit with some Von Stroke drama injected into the mix. This is Jungle, baby.

Anyway, enough blather. More music related posts coming up, in the meantime make some of these:

THE FOOLPROOF YORKSHIRE PUDDING

4 Large Eggs (Freerange, organic, knitted or otherwise)
300 ml Milk

Whisk together and leave to stand for at least 15mins

Using a metal baking dish, or preferably a Muffin Tin – add a good glug (or teaspoon if using Muffin tin) of vegetable oil (or Lard if you want to keep the traditional vibe intact) and place into a pre-heated (250 degrees) oven until fat is VERY hot (smoking is best)

While the dish/tin is heating up slowly incorporate 250 g of sifted plain flour to the egg/milk mix (Not very ‘Yorkshire’ sifting flour, but it makes a difference !) continue whisking to remove any big floury clods.

Add mixture to dish or muffin tin (all of it if using a large dish, or a ladel full in each well of the muffin tin)

Place QUICKLY back in hot oven for 15-20 mins….don’t open the door for a peek !

Serve the towering beauties with classic Sunday roast, or get all ‘southern’ and have them with Jam or honey

VARIOUS PRODUCTION_DIVER

So I spent ages banging on to anyone stupid or high enough to listen about Various
Another Boomkat favourite that appealed to my inner collector as well as tantalizing my considerably fatigued ear drums. Then it turned out everyone I’d fired up with tracks like ‘Hater’ and the Sugarbabes booty went out and bought the album…..
It was the musical equivalent of recommending a Paedophile to do the school run.
Anyway, that aside, I’m a forgiving kind o’guy….The fact that the first 3 copies of this came with screenprinted Y fronts and a mini USB drive shaped like a syphlytic cock is by the by, what’s important is that it’s another shockingly good display that carries on from the ludicrously lovely Chief EP & Phortune.
A Dislocated Hip Hop instrumental thats a musical fine gauge sandpaper on bollocks massage
and the trademark rubberband stretching Dubstepism, with that bittersweet apocalyptic note and the overall sensation of being hoovered up.
Oh and there’s even a M.I.A dabble that makes perfect sense. Utter genius.

TUGG/FELIX DICKINSON_GETTING HIGH/SMOKELESS MACHINE_CYNIC

Always a low key affair, Cynic, over a handful of releases of a less than prolific nature, have outed some joyous esoteric club music. This could have come out ten years ago, or ten minutes ago….and will still sound good ten years down the line.
Retro in the sense that overdriven drum machines, loose bassy bits and snare rolls are all employed, it’s House music in its rawest form, plain and simple.
Treated vocals encouraging us to ‘get high on the floor’ marry to the above good stuff on ‘Getting High, while kipper slap snare drum cracks and knife sharpening high hats shake the scaffolding around the liquid low end and acidic squelchyness on ‘Smokeless Machine’. I urge you to buy this shit like it’s on sale (and it probably will be !)

BENGA_NIGHT_GEENEUS REMIX

It came as a genuine surprise that the new club sensation amongst our treasured yoof is called ‘Funky House’
Lo and behold it’s not some splinter genre for the post-Niche generation, but…well, just good old fashioned New York House, albeit with a liberal dose of Dj Gregory type Africanism action in the drum department and some vintage Unique 3 flavours on the bottom registers and ‘my mate’s bird can sing a bit’ on vocals. So, what we get here is your boy Geeneus (says everything you need to know about the state of the English
curriculum in state schools these days) doing a staggeringly good job of ‘funky housing’ up the gargantuan ‘Night’ by the unstoppable Benga.
Long story short I can now drop this more compatibly BPM’d version instead of embarrassingly forcing the original in at minus 6 !
Check out Footloose on 1xtra for more Funky House action. It’d be fucking brilliant if he looked like Kevin Bacon

SOLOMUN_BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (FOUR:TWENTY)

One of the rare breed of Deutsch producers who’s remembered where his hips are and laid out some seriously girthsome grooves that confidently straddle the minimal/Deep House divide. This flipside to latest single ‘Deadman’ is a treasure. A heavy duty hypnotic safari of a tune that marries a devastating boingy bass riff to some atmospheric devices and pokey beatwork. I scissored out an extended version for the Panorama Bar
and bugger me if people didn’t start stalking round the club in pith helmets hunting the wildlife. Like this ? Check out Argy’s mixes on DJ Gregory & F12.
Without wanting to blow my own trumpet too much, I’ve been hyping ‘Safari House’ for time ! Beleeeeeee dat

RUSTIE_JAGZ THE SMACK (STUFFRECORDS)

So it’s weeks like this that keep the ardent music fan going, just when you think the skull crushing
avalanche of mediocrity that’s dropped into your inbox like a turd in your cocktail might just put you off contemporary music forever, you stumble across a peach like this. Yes, not only has my life been filled with aural sunshine on account of James Pants majestic ‘Ka$h’
on Stones Throw, but I snagged this blistering slice of modern filth to boot. A seriously disarming and accomplished 5 track throwdown that’s the bus shelter dwelling, hoodie offspring of Drexciya, Cage, Rodney Jerkins and Sa-Ra. Yeah, like that…but better. Apparently he’s about 12 and from Glasgow. Right on !

ADA_BARRENSPACE/FIZZMAN

If you designed a computer program to make 1991 piano anthems using only bits of Technotronic’s ‘Pump Up The Jam’
then you’d probably end up with ‘Barren Space’ – that’s a good thing by the way !
‘Fizzman’ soon surrenders its warm textured appeal by beating your noggin into submission with an insufferable high-pitched riff.

AKIKO KAYAMA

This could easily be the backing music for one of those old ‘This is your brain on drugs’ public service announcements.
Soul crushing, post-industrial laptop flatulence.

BASIC SOUL UNIT

Anyone who spends this much time pissing about with hi hat patterns should seek professional help
Fortunately for all concerned Sebo K saves the day with a beautifully conceived subtle sound system banger.
Play and support guaranteed

BEANER_VIAJE A VILLA BONOBO

So, a holiday in the house of monkey’s is it ?
Right’o….Social anthropologists of the future may well look back at music like this as an indication of just how fucked up mankind was circa 2007

DJ YELLOW_INTERMISSION

Dj Beige more like
Polite Trance nonsense, pointless Euro trash frippery that’s only fit to
soundtrack those spirit crushing autobahn journeys. Guy J mix has a certain squelchy charm though

LETROSET EP

Wow ! Incendiary stuff that sails dangerously close to fringe sporting ‘clever clogs’ territory, but thankfully drags itself back off course with some admirable ‘Secondo’ style scissor work and Loop butchery. Even the Italo flavours manage to curdle and set without even whiffing too much of the old fromage.

DONNACHO COSTELLO_BLACK BAG JOB

I kind of missed a meeting about this guy….the Colour Series furore passed me by to be honest
This isn’t a bad track really, it’s just that a 17 year old Ron Trent pretty much nailed this vibe 15 years ago
and hearing this now is like forcing down a cold McDonald’s after a fillet steak. His Dad Elvis is fucking brilliant though….

EXERCISE ONE_WANDERING

This is the sound of a poorly attended ‘Dance’ tent at some rain-drenched festival.
I’m trudging my way through knee high mud, dancing round in little circles as I slowly lose the feeling in my extremities.
The B Side is somewhat better, sounding, as it does like someone throwing amplified paperclips at a one-handed bass player

LUCA BACHETTI_LIKE A SADHU

Title track has a wonderful crossed eyed & painless 7 am appeal.
This is eloquent drug babbling, staggering with purpose, controlled dribbling.

MIKA REMIXES

Old curly locks raises the (gay) bar here..Loving the Beedle version and Boy 8 Bit’s Nu-Hardcore rub prompted a ‘Jesus fucking christ’ reaction from my missus this morning ! Even Radioclit deliver a totally inappropriate & useless version for the sheer hell of it….a majestic waste of cash !

DAVID GAHAN

Something weird happens when talented producers are asked to remix once legendary artists. They enter a creative vacuum, a blandosphere, from which there is no escape. Take Juan Maclean and Skream…two dependable acts under normal circumstances, but here neither can muster more than a whimper of a rework…What’s going on ? why is David not moving on, living on a farm or something…he was better when he was hepped up on goofballs with an eating disorder…Still the remix budget will be adequately covered by his no doubt still generous royalties, so everyones happy, except me, stuck with a worthless, non biodegardable CDR that’ll get me no more than a disgruntled sigh from the record and tape exchange.

DAFT PUNK_LIVE SAMPLER

I guess this is the teaser for the inevitable Live CD. Canny move…there are loads of broadsheet reading ex-ravers who’ll lap this up….popping the CD on when the kids are in bed, at a sensible volume obviously. Cracking open a bottle of luke warm Jacobs Creek, they’ll nod knowingly to each other about that time at Creamfields when their mate John, who’s now a smackhead and no one really talks about anymore, got stuck in a portaloo, and was forced to evaluate the fabric of the universe while grappling with the two microdots he’d bought off that trustafarian with the Darth Maul face paint, as cold effluence lapped around his ankles. As the Kick drum comes in, Liz will kick her glass all over the new Habitat Rug, and everything will come to an awkward end.

GABRIELLA CILMI_SWEET ABOUT ME

This is absolutely fucking brilliant.. Mr Beedle nails the mix, drenching it in authentic Dub genius, and what a voice ! Even Sherbert breaks his less than intriguing recent high brow form and conjurs up a fairly magical package, even if the wrapping is better than the pressie. Full support, Tonic Radio show, Dinner Parties and on my Mum’s monthly mix CD for the car, like.

SHOCKING PINKS

Well, at least it’s not the usual suspects (Sinden and Count of Monte Cristal’s remix of Vera Duckworth’s ‘Rovers Rap’)..All versions interesting and playable, with the exception of Nathan Fake perhaps, who may yet prove to be a modern musical genius, but, on this at least, comes across as a lonely electronics expert, who’s self disgust at being aroused by modular synthesis is expressed through low frequency experimentation. Deepchord mix manages to do what they do and incorporate some of the original, which is the name of the game really. Expanding Head hits the spot too with a sweaty ‘in the moment’ belter. Anyone ever been out with a girl with Ginger hair ? Shocking Pink indeed !

PRAIA BRAVA

Been waiting for a follow up to ‘Homework’ for some time…this certainly doesn’t disappoint.
A tasty slab of clanking, typewriter tampering anthemic joy, that’s just the right side of melodic fluffiness. Can’t wait to unleash it on an unsuspecting crowd.
Jesse doesn’t flip the script too much here, but raises the bar once again – precision club crack that I’ll wear out, no doubt.

PROSUMER & MURAT TEPELI

I hammered their last single, something endlessly appealing about the out of tune Deutchglish rambling
over a bare bones House groove that really appealed. This one really lifts things up a notch though….it’s like
Reneé and Renato for the K generation for fuck’s sake !
Cassy proves that salvation through repetition is not only achievable but positively essential….like peeling spuds or cleaning the oven

PHILIP SHERBURNE

Such is the sheer volume of minimal schminimal these days I don’t envy anyone trying to
do anything that stands out in a crowd, this just about manages it though by sounding exactly
like a distressed owl wrapped in a slinky trying to escape from an aluminium pipe as a train passes by.

CSM015

So it’s raining outside, in mid-August
And listening to this while watching the downpour makes me want to throw myself down some wooden stairs just so I can feel something else. Actually ‘Inference’ ain’t too bad in a poor man’s Robert Hood kinda way

EASY CHANGES

So if the guys who run the label had only enough money to A) put this record out or B) eat,
I’d be intrigued to see how their commitment played out

KAORU INOUE – THE SECRET FIELD

The original sounds like Chris Rea tap dancing on some tablas,
not altogether unpleasant then, but thank heavens for Terje, who skilfully manages
to elevate this to some kind of Kid Creole soundtracked African sunset moment – ta da !

MOTORCITY SOUL – SPACE KATZLE

There’s been a recent and rather worrying trend emerging from the Neu Deutsche Deep Hausen Volk, not to mention some of the NY lot. Injecting a bit of drama into the mix
is all well and good, but when things get too filmic and the mood is crobar’d in, I’m first in the
queue to rip ‘em off the decks and throw ‘em over towards the VJ, or the guy playing bongo’s.

I absolutely love Motorcitysoul, and C-Rock is a formidable force behind the turntables
but this just makes me think of Dawson from Dawson’s creek jogging along the side of a misty lake
as tears of rejection run down his massive chin.

NICO PURMAN

Inoffensive and precise, like the other 15Gb of material that’s slipped into my inbox this week
but wait, isn’t that an Einzelkind remix ?
I love their stuff, I’ve got no less than three of their recent EP’s lurking in my DJ Bag
This though, mmmm…actually it is good, but I can’t get past the tortured cat synth….I’ll try though, I really will

CADENZA CONTEMPORY

Just because the term ‘Minimal’ has become as hackneyed as moustachioed drain pipe jean wearing
Hoxton/Mitte bollock heads, doesn’t mean we should ignore those who’ve been caught up
under the wheels of the bandwagon, despite always endeavouring to push things forward (Orange Mistake, for fuck’s sake, it’s incredible)
Cadenza have no doubt & unfortunately become ‘one of many’
This comp should see them reminding people just why they are so damn good and relevant.